Becoming the Fool I Always Wanted to Be
Well, that’s not quite right. I didn’t want to become a fool. I battle too much pride. But it happened anyway.
I just finished my 20th read thru of the Bible since January of 2020. It started when Molly Huffman challenged Morehead United Methodist Church, where I was serving, to read the New Testament in one month, January. I started in Matthew and just did not stop. That was the time I read the whole Bible in 18 days. I mean, I could not stop.
So much happened in January and February of 2020… a speaker at the International Children’s Ministry Conference had a presentation on why we should read mass amounts of Scripture! And I really needed the Word of God to discern, and to stand firm when it was apparent that my denominational supervisors wanted to muzzle me from preaching the Word of God. In February, where I read the whole Bible that month, I realized that was not much more sustainable than 18 days. I thought about going back to me and Chad Brooks’ old pattern of reading the Bible every 90 days. I happened to be reading a biography of Susanna Wesley, and it mentioned that her father, Samuel Annesley, kept up a pace for almost 60 years of reading 20 chapters a day. He was known as “the friend of the poor and the sinner,” and I thought that was as good a reputation as one could hope for!
So there it is. 20 times. 20 chapters a day is a sustainable amount for me. This will not be a post about how you could do it, or why you should try. I just want to say that this pattern of Scripture reading has become the most important discipline to me, besides prayer.
It does not leave me much time for reading much besides Scripture. Sermon prep is one kind of Scripture study. Drilling down on one book is another. By the time I have done those three, I do not have the time or inclination to read much else.
On one hand, I have read a lot in my life, and enjoyed it. So maybe it’s no big deal to let go of so much “outside reading.” But on the other hand, for the Word of God to be the single biggest input into my heart and mind, think about that. What is the biggest input, in terms of time, effort, and impact in your life? That is where your treasure is. It is discipling you into its ways.
I feel like I always have to add this disclaimer. “If you read so much Scripture, dude, you should be some super-Christian—" but those who know me, know differently. People in Life Transformation Groups with me, without breaking confidentiality would say, “he needs a lot more help than the average bear.”
But I can also add, there is no doubt that the work of sanctification as advanced much more these past 3 years. 6 times a year, I read through the Word of God. It is like rain on thirsty land.
I don’t think you can read Song of Solomon 6 times a year and not have God change your affections. At least that is what has happened to me.
The Gospels are grueling, because for 5 days straight, you are hammered by the passion. Sometimes, I break up the Old Testament by reading a Gospel between a couple books… mostly to not be wrung out by 5 days of the crucifixion in a straight read-thru.
But how did this make me a fool? I started to realize… I don’t care much about anything besides the Word. Oh, I still like to watch Burn Notice. I like to read Hemingway and Steinbeck. Not like I used to. I have become more focused in what I read; I doubt I will ever take the time to read The Grapes of Wrath again. I don’t pay much attention to the news. I guess what I realized is, I am not as interesting as I used to be (uh, yeah, maybe I should say as interesting as I thought I was, heh heh heh). I think some people are really good at making sense of the world, and applying the Word to it. I am thankful for them. But it seems to me that the Lord has called me to be helpful solely through the Word. Maybe I am living into my old friend Rosario’s estimation of me: “You should be sealed in glass with a sign that says, ‘break only in case of emergency.’” When times get tough and the chips are down, you know where to find me. And when we need to find the green pasture of the Word of God, we’ll know right where to go. If I don’t know anything else, I am cool with that kind of foolishness.
I just finished preaching through the Gospel of Matthew. The whole thing. 106 sermons. Every word of the Gospel was read in church these past 27 months. (I warned if they complained too much, Deuteronomy was next. And it might be. You can’t threaten me with a good time.) I have to confess, it was very emotional to be done. I have reveled in preaching through the Gospel, not just some selections to give a sense of its themes, but the whole Gospel. Every word. I reveled… and I realized when I was done with the last sermon that I had been in a kind of cocoon. I knew what was coming next, what I was called to preach. Now that is over, and I am little mournful. I don’t know if I can explain it. It’s not like I will struggle to preach… the Word preaches itself. But there really was something comforting these past 2 years. We live in a culture that cannot be expected to stand on the Word of God. I am leaving a denomination that is unwilling to. In such wild times, no one needs to hear from me, what I think. We need the Word, pure and unadulterated. I had to become a fool to fling myself out on the open sea, to cast the bread of life on the waters, and to trust it would return, not void, but having fulfilled its purpose. I hope I can say they did not hear from me, but from God.
This journey to being a fool has been a long time coming. I can tell you when it started in earnest. December of 2006, reading about the angel coming to Zechariah to announce the birth of John the Baptist, I zeroed in on the fact that it came at the time of prayer, and I was struck by the idea that if the announcement of the birth of the one who would herald the Messiah, Jesus, came at the time of prayer, then surely my preaching must come from prayer at least as much as from study. What that led to was preaching that had so much more Scripture in it. It was like I had this realization… all I really need to do is just repeat what the Word of God says. My bud Rosario mentioned in February of 2007, “your preaching has changed. Not sure what is going on, but whatever it is, keep doing it.” Whew. If you knew how bad 2007 was… there was nowhere else to turn but the Word.
I am ashamed to tell you about the number of pastors who have reacted negatively to my saying sermons must come from prayer at least as much as study. And similarly, there have been more than a few negative reactions to my contentions about reading mass amounts of Scripture. Who am I to judge another man’s servant? This is what He has asked me to do.
And can I be honest? I wish it was different.
Because I know why it is this way. My heart was broken and I was crushed. Someone made me promise I would not quit, but rely on the Lord. It turns out, 2 Corinthians 1:3-11 is rock solid truth. And that truth is repeated over and over and over and over again in the Bible. Can you ever read it and hear it enough?
I can’t. And neither can Randy Deitrich. He is on his 12th read-thru in the past almost 3 years.